


Spiders and Bats get along great!

by RRTimDrake



Series: This is what happens when I write at 3:00am [1]
Category: DC - Fandom, Marvel, Spider man (MCU)
Genre: Alfred Pennyworths food is heavenly, Attempt at Humor, Bruce adopts Peter, Bruce and his problem with adopting children, Crack, DO NOT COPY AND PASTE TO ANOTHER SITE, Dick jumps off a roof, Humor, I only wrote this because my friends asked me to, Justice!, Other, Peter gets a new suit., Peter is a confused child, The batfam are quick to involve him with their crap, This is crack, This isn’t really dimension travel but..., Tim is sleep deprived, Tony can have the next hyperactive teenager that wants to be a superhero. Peter is Bruces child now., as usual, nerf gun wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25211446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RRTimDrake/pseuds/RRTimDrake
Summary: “No, B, please not another one.”A man with a red motorcycle helmet—Maybe. What the frickity frack is that suppose to be?—said. He said it like this has happened before? Does this so-called hero kidnap kids and make them hero’s or something. That would defiantly be something.“He is an orphan that wishes to serve justice. How can I not?” Batman—possible kidnapper—says.Or...it’s that one fanfic where Peter Parker gets “adopted” by Bruce.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: This is what happens when I write at 3:00am [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826566
Comments: 13
Kudos: 189





	Spiders and Bats get along great!

**Author's Note:**

> Blame this on my friends.  
> We’re all a group of geeks who saw a drawing and I got asked to write this...so I did.

Peter isn’t going to lie. He’s scared, not for his safety but for the ones around him. And for once it’s not because he’s scared he’s going to hurt them, more of them getting themselves hurt.

* * *

It was a normal day, Peter was patrolling around Gotham, then everything just went downhill.

A man dressed up as a bat, —who by the way is freaking scary—stopped him from his nightly patrol and gave an insane amount of information all the consisted of Peters's non-super life. It is reasonable to say that Peter wasn’t just scared of this guy's suit now but instead the information he held. 

But before Peter could do anything he was tranquilized and well after that, he’s not too sure what happened.

All he knows was that he got debriefed that it’s not safe to fight crime alone. The way the man said it, made, it sounds like he was automatically bulletproof if he had others, which not true. Though the man didn’t seem to want to cause any pain or suffering on Peter so he trusted him; to an extent.

Next thing Peter knows he’s being carried into like a secret layer—which by the way is FREAKING AWESOME!—that looked like a cave accompanied by many other people in suits.

Peter isn’t an idiot he knows who these people are but he honestly thought they were myths.

“No, B, please not another one.”

A man with a red motorcycle helmet maybe—what the frickity frack is that suppose to be?—said. He said it like this has happened before? Does this so-called hero kidnap kids and make them hero’s or something. That would defiantly be something.

“He is an orphan that wishes to serve justice. How can I not?” Batman—possible kidnapper—says.

“By not taking him! How do you know he’s actually an orphan? Just because he’s jumps roofs doesn’t mean he’s an orphan.”Another guy said, who looked like he is twelve but sounded at least seventeen.

“He is! Well he has an aunt but she won’t be an issue.” Batman provides.

And at that Peter almost chokes on his saliva. “You can kidnap me or whatever but don’t kill aunt may!”

“What? No, I don’t kill. Don’t worry about that, and I’m not kidnapping you. I’m adopting you.” The possible-kidnapper-that-is-also-a-Hero-maybe-serial-adopter said his voice loosing its gruffness.

And that’s how Peter got here. Standing outside as the man—Dick as he introduced himself stands on top of Wayne Manor about to jump off the roof. He—from what Peter knows does not have power and if he somehow screws this up it won’t go well.— is attempting a quadruple flip off the roof on to the trampoline, that looks like it’s been through ALOT.

So yeah, Peter is scared for them.

“DO IT YOU COWARD!” The man who once had the red helmet thing on, now known as Jason yells.

The looked-like-twelve-but-is-actually-sixteen took a sip of his coffee, mumbling something about he doesn’t get paid enough to deal with this. The sixteen year old—Tim—is also accompanied by two other people who introduced themselves as Duke and Steph.

“YEAH!” The girl—Steph yelled.

_This is insane!_ Peter thought. _Pure insanity!_

Then he jumped. Dick freaking jumped, done a quadruple flip, landed on his back and somehow bounced higher than the Manor before doing another flip. 

Dick did—Well Peter isn’t sure how many flips he did but it was a lot, and it was all insanely cool to watch.

“How—?” Peter questioned, unable to finish his question.

“No one knows.” Answered Tim. 

This household is insane...that’s just...how?

———

Turns out their insanity doesn’t stop with insanely dangerous stunts off of a Mansion. Noooooppeee! 

Peter is in a middle of a Nerf gun war. When and how it started he isn’t sure. All he knows is that he had Steph throwing a nerf gun at him and telling him he’s on team new recruits.

The teams were these:

Peter, Steph, and Duke—team new recruits.

Dick, Damian, and Cass—team Night shadow.

Jason, Tim, and Harper— team Midnight Red. 

So far no one is out but that doesn’t mean it’s any less heated. 

Midnight Red had yet to be seen other than Jason appearing every once and awhile. Other than that no one is sure if there location.

Duke is currently trapped behind a table with Dick nearing him. Peter knows he should do something, he’s his teammate and all, but Peter is so lost he doesn’t know what to do.

Then out of no where Steph jumps from the stairs balcony, successfully shooting Dick and “killing him. As soon as her feet it the ground she tucks into a roll and takes cover behind the couch.

“What the—? Who? How?” Dick yells in pure confusion.

Steph chuckles a little, which Dick hears and glares at her when he passes her. Steph just waves at him and smiles.

Now there’s a small enraged child yelling something about revenge. Peter isn’t to sure but Peter is definitely scared.

Duke crawls out from behind his table and runs over to Steph and behind the couch.

Duke cocks his nerf gun so that he’s ready for any surprise attacks, then asks: “Plan. What’s our plan?”

Both Peter and Steph shrug.

“Look man I just got unofficially-adopted today. I don’t know how this household works.” Peter declares.

“Don’t worry it won’t take long for you to get use to our family antics.”

“I’m not sure I want to.” Peter responds.

Steph laughs. “Oh buddy, you don’t have a choice.”

Then out of nowhere Duke yells: “DAMIAN! HOLY- DAMIAN!”

Nerf bullets are flying every which way at them, one of them hitting Steph which caused a string of colorful words to be said.

“Crap! Steph is down and has to pay like ten dollars to Alfie.” Duke told Peter, as he did his best to shoot down Damian.

Peter was confused to what he meant by money but he couldn’t really focus on it because of the enraged child in front of him.

Then the worst of worst things happens. Duke gets out, he gets shot but not from Damian. No, by a girl who literally looked one with the shadows. Peter thinks her name is Cass.

This is bad, this is bad, this is bad. He has a shadow girl behind him and a child with anger issues in front of him. This is bad.

They both shoot at him, his Peter tingles *cough* Spider sense goes off and everything goes into slow motion. Before Peter knows what he’s doing he’s jumping up and hanging onto a chandelier.

Then something crazy happens. Tim is jumping out of a vent and shoots Peter. Jason comes from the stairs balcony like Steph once did and shoots Cass, and Harper comes out from a bookshelf behind Damian and shoots him.

Team Midnight Red wins.

“Wait—What—how?” Basically everyone yells at the same time.

The only ones not asking questions are the winners: Midnight Red.

Tim smiles; a smile that looks pure evil and say: “Strategy.”

———

If theres anything good about this place it’s the food. It’s legit to die for. Like...how is there such greatness? How can something so heavenly exist?

Peter doesn’t know, Peter doesn’t care, Peter engulfs his food.

God bless Alfred.

———

“I’m sorry what?” The spiderling ask pure confusion coating his voice.

“We welcome you to be apart of the sad dysfunctional orphan group.” Dick announces.

“Is everyone apart of this group?” He asks.

Jason shakes his head. “Nah just me, Dickie, Timbo, Cass and you. Everyone else has a family, just got family problems and spends more time here than at home.”

Peter nods. _Sad dysfunctional orphan group? What the actual heck?!_

——

Peter didn’t think it could worse. He was wrong. He got handed a new suit. It look insanely cool but nothing like his spider suit. Well it had some spider designs on it still but it wasn’t anything close to what he would’ve made.

His bright red and blue colors were stripped and made black, though the outline is blue and had red tinted lenses. 

“We thought you could use a new suit so Timmy made you one!” Dick announced.

“When? When did he have time to do this?” Peter asks.

He is truly confused as of when Tim had the time to do this. He’s barely been here for a day and a half and that time has been spent with a nerf gun war.

“I don’t sleep.” Tim responds taking a long slurp of his coffee. 

And Peter is....disturbed? Concerned? He’s not sure but he is defiantly feeling something.

“Now we also thought of names. What about Shadow?” Dick asks.

Peter is quick to cut him down. “No.”

“Bird man?”

“No.”

“Eagle?”

“No.”

“Spider bat?”

“No.”

“Black Bird?”

“No—wait...maybe..”

“Seriously?!” Steph asks.

“Yeah!” Peter confirms.

She cheers. “HA! MY NAME WINS! IN YOUR FACES!”

———

Black Bird hits the streets as a newly found bat. Peter is still deeply concerned for this “family” that has taken interest in him, but he has to say he sort of likes them.

**Author's Note:**

> HuMoR? Pfftt please, just cringe. 
> 
> Comments are great fully excepted. They give me power!


End file.
